Lonely Heart

Sonic was never one to leave it to hope.

No. He was the kind of person to make hope happen. He was the kind of person people turned to in a dire situation. He was the kind of person who people actually put their hopes on.

Never the other way around.

"Grah…" rumbled out of his throat as he clenched his eyes shut, and tried to forcefully derail his train of thought.

Only to jerk up the minute red eyes flashed in his mind.

Stupid heart that had decided to start believing in something impossible. Stupid hopes that made him think it was. Stupid him for never giving up.

How had this started again? When had he realized?

He didn't know. He didn't remember.

And it was starting to drive him insane.

"Dang it," rolled off his tongue as he turned, pressed his face against the pillow, and banged his fist against the mattress.

How does someone go from asking for a simple smile to – to this?

-XXX-

Sonic knocked gently before shuffling. He wouldn't be welcome. He'd been there enough times to know that. There were barriers to this. And they started the moment the door opened.

"Sonic?"

"Hey Rouge, can I come in?"

The skeptical bat stepped aside to let him in, and he gave a grateful smile. First barrier passed.

"Can I get you anything?"

He turned to Rouge. And gave his best smile.

"Water would be nice, please."

"Sure thing, hon," she said with a sympathetic grin before disappearing in the kitchen while saying, "He's home, by the way."

His heart gave a loud thud. Second one. He quickly sat in his usual chair in the living room, eyes quickly darting to a slightly worn out couch. His seat.

"Here you go, handsome."

He nearly jumped at the sound of Rouge's voice, and quickly took the glass of water from her hands. The third barrier should come in play, soon.

His ears twitched at the sound of a groan. There it was. He sunk into his chair and took a sip as Rouge sat down.

A streaked hand caught the corner of the wall, and pulled forward a barely waking black hedgehog.

"Hey Shadow," Sonic voiced, and was met with the coldest glare he'd ever seen.

The third barrier. The one he'd never be able to pass.

-XXX-

He couldn't count the number of times he'd be promptly thrown out of Club Rouge. He couldn't count the number of times he'd fought against it, shouted vehemently before his stomach was kicked. He couldn't count the number of times he'd hear them yell at each other after his passage. He couldn't count the number of times he'd head home with his head low.

And how it all didn't matter.

Because every morning, if he could, he would run right back. Right back to try and make that frown turn into a smile. To change the cold glare in those red eyes into a warm glow. He would keep trying, keep wanting something impossible.

And, somewhere along the line, his heart got involved.

-XXX-

"Sonic, this is getting ridiculous! You go to see them more often than anyone else, now!"

"Amy, I told you. I just want to make sure Shadow's doing okay," he said, still facing forward. To Club Rouge. His destination.

"Don't you see that he doesn't want anyone to bother him?!"

He heard her foot stomp the ground, and was certain that she was crossing her arms.

Didn't move him, though.

"Ames, this is important to me. He needs someone."

"And someone has to be you?!"

"I don't see anyone else trying," he stated firmly as he felt his heart quiver. Shadow would be up by now. He'd be denied total access. Even the first barrier would be impossible to cross, now.

"Do you love him?"

His ears twitched at the soft tone, and he slowly turned to face a teary-eyed Amy. His heart squeezed, twisted in directions he never thought possible before giving one painful pound. A thump he was sure he would remember until the day he died, because its meaning only confirmed Amy's words.

He was. He wasn't sure where, when, or how. But, at some point in time, he had fallen in love with Shadow.

-XXX-

And it wasn't just about getting a smile, anymore. It wasn't about seeing those eyes light up in happiness anymore. It was about making his way into the black one's world and show him, show him that he was worth the love he searched for without knowing. It was about answering the cry that broken, no, shattered heart kept making.

But, for that, he'd have to tell Shadow. He'd have to persuade Shadow that he didn't care. That he didn't care for his past, didn't want to replace the one he had loved so dearly fifty years ago. He'd have to show that he knew and didn't care if Shadow was immortal.

But how could he do that when he was denied access? How could he do any of that when the heart he wanted to reach was closed? Sealed so tightly, the owner itself probably had no idea where the key was anymore. Just how?

"Sonic, it's ten o'clock."

He looked at the door, hearing feet shuffle in front of it. Right. Tails knew. Everyone knew. Everyone knew of what he was doing, now, and everyone supported him. He wasn't sure if it was out of simple habit, or because they truly cared, but he guessed it didn't matter.

"Thanks, Tails," he said as he got up, shaking his head. Here he went again. Here he went to face those three barriers with the hope that Shadow would listen. Would let him in. Would believe that there was more to life than just shutting yourself away.

He smiled. Feebly. So unlike him. So unlike him to cling onto hope. Where was the hero everyone saw in him? Gave faith in?

He didn't exist. He was merely a symbol they imagined him to be.

Because, like everyone else, Sonic was human. Had emotions. And a heart that was tugging him in a direction he now wanted to go in. That he thought was worth fighting for.

"Sonic, you don't have to go, you know," he heard, and he turned to Tails with a smile.

"I know, lil' bro. But I want to."

His smile faded as he passed the door, and tears caught in his eyes when he started to run. He had to hope. He had to.

Because there was no way he'd let someone close themselves away like that. There was no way he'd let a heart cry for love, even if its owner didn't want to listen to it. There was no way he'd let loneliness be Shadow's only companion.

He knocked softly. He knew he wouldn't be welcome. He'd been here enough times to know that. There were barriers to this. And they would start the moment the door would open.

"Sonic?"

"Hey Rouge. Can I come in?"